Q: I have had a total of two relationships and both times now after they ended I have been alone and miserable. I don’t mean to, but once I start dating a guy, it becomes all about him and us. I don’t realize it then, but now I know that I completely lose myself when I’m in a relationship. I shouldn’t be surprised that I have no one by my side when it ends because I chose him over anything and everyone else. How do I stop losing myself in love?                   —Allie, 17

Monique's Advice: It sounds like you already know what to do, but just haven't practiced it yet. You have to stay involved with the life you had before the relationship and find things that YOU love to do with or without a guy. Figure out your passions (other than the guy you're with) and fill yourself up with doing them. You should never end a relationship and feel all alone and miserable. Your relationship is meant to add to your life, not take over it. Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you spend every second coupled up, it's sure to fizzle out. Spend some time with your girlfriends, don't miss out on other things that are important to you, and take time just to be by yourself. It will show him that you're confident and independent and he'll only like you more.